In the Grip of His Grace By: Kathy Bailey
The Lord began dealing with my
heart about writing this article back in February 2001. As I sat and prayed about
what to write, I thought…will anyone want to hear this? So much has been said
about God’s love, grace and forgiveness. And I asked the Lord, what do I know
that others don’t? (And My Lord continues to show me it’s not what I know, but
what He has revealed to me to share).
And my mind drifted back in time…
It was 1973, I was a bubbly, blond-haired, blue-eyed, 4-year old little girl.
My favorite pastime was swinging on the swing in my granddaddy’s back yard,
camping and fishing. Yes, girls do fish, especially if they are the first
grandchild of a granddaddy who loves to fish. Those were the days. No worries,
no responsibilities, life was full of fun and good times. My mom had moved back
two years earlier, when she and my dad divorced. I don’t think at that time I
felt rejected by my dad, because my granddaddy spent so much time with me. I
knew that I was special and I knew that I was loved. And life was wonderful...
Then, when I was 5, my mom
re-married. His name was Jerry and he seemed so nice. He really enjoyed playing
with my brother and I. And my mom seemed to be a lot happier too. So, I started
calling him Daddy, and I called my own dad, “Daddy David”. Well, a year and a
half later, guess what? I got a new baby brother, Chris. I was disappointed at
first, because I already had one brother. But, soon, I realized another brother
wasn’t all that bad. Plus, he was little enough to play with and I could
pretend he was a baby doll and dress him up! I remember when I got my very own
room. My brother Mike and I had always shared a room. But, I was a big girl now
and I got my very own room. I don’t really remember when Jerry started “tucking
me in” at night. I just know it became a regular occurrence. . Something told
me the way he “tucked me in” wasn’t right, but when I asked Mom if he should be
“tucking me in” as he called it, she said, “Of course, he’s your new daddy.”
She had no idea what was going on. When I was 8, we moved to Kentucky. Jerry
continued to “tuck me in” at night, and I continued to feel that something was
wrong (the sad part is that I thought something was wrong with ME). I know it may sound strange to some, but I
really didn’t realize that his way of “tucking me in” wasn’t “normal”. I
honestly believed that’s what daddy’s who loved their little girls were
supposed to do. And for 6 years of my life, that’s what he did.
That was the beginning of a new
pattern of thinking for me. If I pretended that everything was “normal”, then
it was. I dreamed about what it would be like to have “real” love from a
father… a love of which I had no real comprehension at the time. I would go
somewhere “safe” in my mind when these things were happening to me, like
pretending I was in Florida with my grand-parents or at the beach. I also
thought that if I did well in school and was a good girl, that other people
would love me too. The years of sexual abuse and mistreatment, pretending that life was okay
had taken its toll and sadly enough, I thought it was somehow my fault. I
didn’t know that I had a low self-image. I thought the shame-based image I had was the
right one to have, because it was all I knew.
Then one day at church, my mom's Sunday School teacher at First Baptist Church in Owensboro, KY, Mrs. Gay
Camp, told me about God’s love for me! I couldn’t believe that Jesus loved me
so much that He would actually DIE for ME! She explained that Jesus chose to
die for me and rose again to save me from my sins and if I asked Him to forgive
me and come into my heart, He would save me. Oh, boy… did I ever need to be
saved! I liked to pretend I was good, but deep down, I knew I was a sinner.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my
Lord and Savior as an 11-year-old girl. Although I must confess, it would be
almost 20 years later before I would fully understand the depth of the love God
has for me and what it truly meant to be “saved by grace” and
have Him as Lord of my life. And that understanding continues to grow
through each triumph and trial I face.
What does everyone in this world
search for and need? Love… and acceptance. The world searches for such love in
many ways. For me, until I got saved, I thought that if I’d just pretend,
perform, excel and try to be perfect then people would love me... Oh, how
deceived I was! I am so grateful that
our Heavenly Father loves us completely and purely. The Bible teaches us that
we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, that The Lord knows the number of
hairs on our head and will never leave us or forsake us. It
teaches us that His grace is sufficient to meet our EVERY need.
What is grace? Unmerited
Favor. We cannot earn it, buy it, steal it or work for it. In James 4:6,
the Bible says that the Lord giveth more grace, that God resists
the proud, but gives grace to the humble, that we should submit ourselves to
God, resist the devil and he will flee from us. Where does grace come from?
God’s Word says: And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, full of grace
and truth. (John 1:14) and that grace and truth came by Jesus Christ (John 1:17)
I heard an acronym for Grace once.
It is: God’s Riches At
Christ’s Expense.
I want us to think about that for a moment. HIS riches – not ours. Christ’S expense – not ours. We
truly are nothing, would be nothing and could do nothing good without the grace
of God!
The Lord has laid it on my heart
to share with you 3 ways that we can show grace through our lives and
testimony:
Through suffering. The Bible
says that we are made perfect in weakness. It is through suffering that we come
to glimpse what Christ went through for us and come to appreciate His love and
compassion. One way to learn about grace through suffering is to acknowledge God’s Sovereignty. When we
realize that He is in control and nothing (no thing, circumstance, situation,
difficulty or happening) occurs without His allowing it, we are able to work
toward forgiving those who’ve caused our suffering and learn to become women of grace. Think of Job and
the suffering he endured. He lost his family, his home, his wealth, his health…
everything but his life. And what was his response? The Lord giveth and the
Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
How many of you have ever met someone that you found
difficult to show grace to? Perhaps it was a homeless person, a disabled
person, a drunk or drug addict, someone who is gay, promiscuous or just someone
with whom you had a personality clash and didn’t like them when you met them.
When I began writing this, I
shared with you a small portion of the suffering God has allowed me to go
through in my life. For me, until I forgave Jerry for what he did, I had a
difficult time showing grace to others. I was sometimes very judgmental and
thought people like that didn’t deserve to live or even get saved! But,
thankfully, I learned through His Word and wise counsel that His love for me is
no different than His love for others… including Jerry. Suffering gives us an
ever-conscious awareness of God’s grace (His unmerited favor) toward us. If we
choose to learn from and through suffering, it enables us to show grace to
others. I believe that having this awareness of grace in our lives can only be
achieved by showing God’s love and grace to those around us – even people who
we think are “unlovely” or “unlovable” – no matter what they’ve done or who
they are! Though the trauma I went through as a child I would not wish on
anyone else, I believe that as a result of my experiences, I am able to show
others His love and compassion and of course, that His grace truly is
sufficient to meet our every need. I know that the Lord has allowed it
and He will use it for my ultimate benefit. The Bible says we KNOW that ALL
things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called
according to HIS purpose. (Not our own purpose, not our parents, not our
spouses, but HIS purpose.)
Through
surrender/submission. The Bible teaches us that God is love. If we are
children of God, then we will want to express and share His love with others.
Unfortunately, sharing His love also involves surrendering or submitting.
Oh, that word… submission! How we women hate to hear that word. We think of it
as confining or constricting in some way, but yet submission is what we need to
experience total freedom in Christ. You may be asking ‘How do we attain that?’
Well, until Christ returns, we won’t attain it fully. But, in the meantime
there are many ways that we can seek to know Him more and get a glimpse of His
love through submission. The Bible says to submit yourselves unto the Lord.
But, that will not happen without the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
and as in my own life, it also took a lot of prayer and seeking His forgiveness
daily because I am very strong-willed and stubborn. I Peter 5:5-7 says Likewise
ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to
another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud and giveth
grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God,
that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him, for he
careth for you. When we learn that God is in control and we seek to trust
Him completely with our lives through
daily submitting, we will learn that
true love, acceptance, joy and peace cannot come from anywhere but Him.
Through speech. The Bible
says in Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with
salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. When you think of your
speech, I don’t want you to only think about the tone of voice, whether or not
you are shy and soft-spoken, or like me – obviously not shy. I want to
encourage you to pray for speech with grace. The Bible says in Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and
admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with
grace in your hearts to the Lord. I believe that the more you study God’s Word
and learn of His love and grace toward us, the more you will want to speak to
others with grace.
Let me ask you a question: How
many of you have ever had someone say or do something to you that hurt your
feelings? Maybe it was a friend, family member, co-worker or even a
schoolteacher. I want to tell you about my mother-in-law. I know… some of you
are thinking this will be an example of what not to do. No, I am very blessed.
My mother in law prays for me and my family daily. She also shows grace to me
through her speech to me and through the encouraging cards and letters she
regularly sends. I Peter 4:8-10 says And above all things have fervent charity
(love) among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use
hospitality one to another without
grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to
another, as good stewards of the
manifold GRACE of God. We are to be good stewards of his grace. I
believe our lives should exemplify His love, compassion and grace. Only then
will we be able to reach this hurting and dying world that’s in search of love
and acceptance.
I have not shared all of this
because I think I am more knowledgeable in some way than anyone reading this. I
am a wretched sinner, saved by grace and the Lord continues daily to prune and
break me into total submission to Him (which I might add is a full-time job with
my strong willed nature). One day, when our Lord returns, we will be conformed
TOTALLY in His image. But until that day, all I can do is admit my frailty and
my complete need and dependence on Him, repent and pray for His forgiveness and
seek to please Him daily. Only Christ can cleanse me from impurity and sin.
Only He can wash me white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18)
In I Peter 3:8 – 11, the Bible
says be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren,
be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing:
but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should
inherit a blessing. For he that will love life and see good days, let him
refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him
eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue (pursue) it.
I encourage each of you to take
these truths shared from God’s word and apply them to your own lives and
circumstances. We can all make a difference – a positive difference for the
Lord, if we do so in Suffering, in Submission, in Speech and finally, in Satisfaction.
I want to close with this poem I
have on my desk at work. It says:
Contentment is satisfaction with the place God has you at
the present. It is freedom from covetousness and from the feeling of having to
have “a little bit more” in order to be happy. It delivers from greed and from
the stress that comes in trying to lay up treasures on earth. Contentment says
that God has been good to me… that He will never fail me… that He knows what is
best. A contented life has learned to go without instead of going into debt…
has learned to wait for God’s time instead of moving in haste… has learned to
hold all things with an open hand instead of a clenched fist. Contentment seeks
His kingdom first and trusts God to add all that is needed.
Without God’s grace, we would all be destined for an eternity in hell. I cannot fathom what it will be like for those who choose not to accept Christ and who will as the Bible says, “be cast into the lake of fire”. Praise the Lord today for His grace truly is SUFFICIENT! All we have to do is place our faith in Him. The Bible says, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” It is my prayer that you will seek His saving grace today… before it is too late.